As we grow older, it’s easy to let friendships slide. Everyone gets busy with careers, families, responsibilities – the list goes on. But making an effort to nurture lifelong friendships is incredibly rewarding and worth prioritizing. Research has shown that people with strong social connections tend to be happier, healthier, and live longer.
So what’s the secret to maintaining close bonds for decades? While every friendship is unique, there are some common threads among long-lasting ones. Here we’ll explore tips for keeping your lifelong friendships going strong.
Table of Contents
9 Tips For Keeping Lifelong Friendships
1. Invest Time
The number one ingredient for nurturing any relationship is time. If you want to stay close to a friend for life, you have to make them a priority. No matter how busy life gets or how far away you live, schedule regular catch-up calls, meet up when traveling, remember birthdays and other big occasions.
Even if you can’t talk frequently, just sending the occasional text to say “thinking of you” keeps you top of mind. While digital communication has its benefits for keeping in touch easily, make an effort to spend real face-to-face time together as often as possible. Those shared experiences and conversations build emotional intimacy.
Plan weekend trips or week-long vacations with your lifelong friends when possible. Exploring a new destination together lets you soak up quality time, create fresh memories, and reignite your core connection. It can be tempting to always vacation with romantic partners and leave friends behind. But investing in friend-cations now and then does wonders for nurturing lifelong bonds.
2. Open Up
As we grow up and take on adult responsibilities, it’s easy to stick to polite small talk about jobs or kids. But real friendship requires vulnerability – opening up about your authentic self. Don’t be afraid to have deeper conversations about your hopes, fears, dreams.
Lifelong friends are the keepers of our secrets, the ones who really know us – flaws and all. So feel comfortable sharing what’s happening beneath the surface. Discuss your struggles with body image, worries about career moves, relationship problems or anything else on your mind and heart. Give space for your friend to do the same without judgement. These trusting exchanges strengthen the bond immeasurably.
3. Allow Freedom
Just because you’ve been friends since kindergarten doesn’t mean you have to like all the same things. Allow your friend space to develop separate interests, make new connections or even different views. Mutual respect, not mirroring, sustains lifelong bonds.
Support your friend’s personal growth by showing interest in their newest passions – whether a hobby, career change or worldview. Ask questions to understand the appeal rather than dismissing something because it’s unfamiliar to you. And share what sparks joy for you too; don’t let the friendship get one-sided.
This ability to remain anchored while also evolving independently marks a healthy, enduring relationship. You don’t have to constantly prove your worth or “work” at the friendship when confidence in the foundation exists.
4. Extend Grace
In even the closest relationships, conflicts or hurt feelings will happen. When a rift arises with your lifelong friend, start by taking a breather if emotions feel raw. Revisiting the issue when you’ve both cooled down allows for calmer discussion.
Next, extend grace. Recognize neither of you is perfect, avoid blame or accusations. Instead calmly explain how the situation impacted you, then listen openly as your friend does the same. In most cases, simply airing grievances dispels tension. Letting go of ego makes compromise possible.
You might notice old wounds creeping up too – maybe a sense your friend was competitive, judgmental or neglectful at times over the years. But holding grudges over bygones erodes goodwill. Unless your friend repeats those negative patterns in a significant way now, allow fresh starts.
Remember why this friendship matters, all you’ve been through together. With that perspective anchoring you, it becomes easier to grant forgiveness. Reconciliation cements relationships in a profound way too. When you do the work to repair breaches, what emerges often feels even stronger and more resilient than before.
5. Have Fun
While deep conversation has its place, it’s also crucial to keep things lighthearted. Look for regular opportunities to just laugh with your lifelong friend. Share silly memes that speak to some inside joke only the two of you understand. Relive uproarious stories from childhood shenanigans or crazy spring break adventures.
Plan weekends away to explore a new destination together, or indulge in favorite pastimes like beach trips, games nights, sports events or shopping expeditions. It’s not necessary to have a big meaningful agenda – the joy is soaking up time together. These playful memories will lift your spirits during harder seasons of life.
Laughter, adventure and nostalgia all fan the flames of friendship. So set aside digital devices, stressful thoughts, and adulting responsibilities at regular intervals. Be positively giddy together like you were as school kids. It keeps the innocence alive.
6. Stay In Touch With Their Circle Too
Don’t neglect staying connected to your best friend’s spouse, kids or other people close to them. Make an effort to get together as larger groups or couples occasionally. Show interest in what’s happening with your friend’s loved ones – ask questions and really listen when you chat.
Getting along well with your lifelong friend’s inner circle fosters goodwill all around. It ensures you’ll stay part of each other’s lives during major milestones like weddings, childbirths, or big anniversary celebrations.
Over decades, the composition of your social spheres will evolve, with new additions through marriage or family. By embracing these changes warmly rather than feeling left out or jealous, you solidify your place within your friend’s expanding universe.
When your friends go through hard times like divorce, job loss or illness, support them by also checking in with their partners behind the scenes if appropriate. Recommend counselors if requested, offer childcare help or even meals for stressed families. Your thoughtfulness around tough transitions means a lot.
7. Be There In Hard Times
When life inevitably gets rocky, that’s when your lifelong friend needs you most. If they suffer a loss, health crisis, job turmoil or relationship breakup, show up for them. Send a thoughtful card and small gift if possible. But even if that’s challenging financially or logistically, call regularly to listen and offer comforting words.
Sometimes providing just a listening ear is the greatest gift. Avoid trying to “fix” unfixable problems; your role is emotional support through acknowledging the difficulty. What reassurance or wisdom can you impart from having made it through your own adversities? Recommend moving mediations like podcasts or journals if those tools aided your own healing.
Once the initial storm passes, continue checking in periodically to see how they’re coping. Recovery from trauma is a long road, so keep showing you care. Visit if geography permits, send favorite books or baked treats if not. Your steadfast loyalty even from afar demonstrates true friendship when it matters most.
8. Stay Hopeful
As the decades roll by, you and your lifelong friend will change in both positive and negative ways. There may be seasons where your differences feel more pronounced, or periods without much contact due to busyness. Financial constraints or family obligations may make visits near-impossible for long stretches occasionally.
Friendships fluctuate in closeness – that’s normal. But try not to take personally times your lifelong companion seems distracted or less available. Assume good intent and remember why this bond matters.
Then during milestone birthdays, reunions or retirement parties, you’ll often find that spark reignites. The shared history makes it easy to pick up right where you left off. Lifelong friendships flex rather than break. Distance across geography or lifestyles needn’t diminish the affection if it stems from a well-nurtured foundation.
Believe in the power of your enduring connection no matter how much time passes between visits. Those are the friendships that endure all seasons and life stages.
9. Nurture With Intention
Truly lifelong relationships don’t happen by accident. They take consistent nurturing. Think about friendships like gardens you want to keep vibrant for years. Make “deposits” by showing up emotionally during challenging times. Also invest in the lighter side through adventures, laughter and mutual support around dreams.
Share wisdom around parenting, career moves, aging parents or other topics your friend needs perspective on now. Recommend books, podcasts or other resources you find helpful if relevant. There’s grace in learning together.
Use digital tools wisely too. Schedule online video catch-ups if stretched for time. Bond through occasional email chains reminiscing about past antics or dreaming about bucket list trips. Build shared inspiration boards on Pinterest around hobbies, decor or fashion. Stay connected even during seasons when life feels too full for long talks.
Read More: How A Good Friend Enrich a Healthy Lifestyle
Lifelong Friendship: The Rarest Gift
Nurturing a lifelong friendship takes effort, resilience and trust. It means showing up in times joyful and hard, whenever each other needs it most. But bonds that last through all of life’s ups and downs are exceptionally rare and precious.
Surround yourself with people who know and embrace every side of you. Through a friend who’s seen your failures as well as successes, your ugliest moments and your highest highs, you gain self-knowledge – and a safe harbor for all seasons.
So do everything possible to tend these priceless lifelong friendships. Their constancy will anchor and sustain you time and time again.